Blah Blah Blah

At this very moment, I don't think I have ever felt more peaceful. It's currently 1:20 in the morning and my house is quiet. The only sound that comes from within is the faint drip from the bathroom faucet. Outside is a raging wind. I can hear it from the other side of my window. But even though the wind just blows and blows, there's a faint quality of peace that can be found in it. I think it's just the sound of the wind, the laughter of the trees as the leaves and branches rattle against each other and the mountains holding their own against the strength of the weather.

Lately, I've been having this odd mixture of feelings. Anger and an absolute hope for change. This anger though, I think it's simmered down. I've always carried this mantra with me throughout my short life. It's not so defined, but basically whenever I find myself angry with someone, I have to ask myself if I really want to expend so much energy hating on this particular person. What a waste of life and strength. And why waste the opportunity of friendship? Hmm. Well, if friendship was denied by the other party, at least civility is welcomed there. Still, I can't let it break my spirits.

As for this hope for change, I like the way my life is heading. The direction is pretty clear, but there are a few steps I need to take to get to my destination. And that's what that hope is. What I need most is motivation. I've never been good at getting my own butt out of the house just for a walk around my house. But it would be good for me. Staying up until 4AM and sleeping until 2PM isn't a good idea at all. So I've decided I'm going to set me alarm every night for 10AM, regardless of the time I slept the previous night. And I also plan on volunteering.

I don't know if it's the God-given goodness in me, or just the want to get out of the house. I think it's more the former, but anyway, I've been really dying to get myself into a soup kitchen or a Christian-based thrift store. I used to volunteer all the time. Most of my volunteer work was under Sacred Heart, my elementary and middle school. Most of my volunteer hours were spent under a robe as an altar girl. If I wasn't serving God in church, I was at Martha's Kitchen serving lunch to the less fortunate. It was super fun having friends with me just hanging out, but it was most rewarding knowing that I helped in what little way I could.
My most recent volunteer service would probably be JPL. It was a rollercoaster there. Hmm, the drama that slowly trickled in like hot lava was unfortunate, but I trecked on for a little while. And then I finally got fed up with the place and some of the people. But I missed almost every second. being there for the kids, singing my heart out to God, and being able to go on all those camps was pretty rewarding too. I think leading worship was probably one of the closest times I've ever been to God. I miss that so much. You know, the other day I actually picked up my Bible to find a passage. Before then, I don't remember the last time I even had it in my hand. How terrible is that? And I used to even make it a point to read a chapter every day. That needs to change. Hmm. I need to find a new church, as well. I'm just scared. But maybe when I find a new one, I shouldn't be so involved.

Other things on the horizon also include my book. I won't really release many details of the book. But I'm super excited about it. The whole writing process has been so exciting for me, and it's crazy being able to write out an entirely different world. My favorite part about writing is creating my characters and totally enveloping myself in them so I know everything about them. Here and there I'll make changes in my writing to better suit each character. I love every second of the writing process. It's an adventure that I hope to really bring to life one day. I really do have to credit Stephanie Myers for inspiration. She indirectly helped to jumpstart my plot, but it's completely different. I don't want to steal any spec of detail from her. She's got a talent to draw millions to her characters, and that's the sort of thing I aim to do.
I don't know how it's all really going to end up. I mean, as far as publishing goes. It'll be a long and troublesome road, no doubt. But I've been a constant blogger for quite some time now and I've always believed that good writing comes from personal experience. So I've got what little writing experience I have under my belt. With that, I'm also armed with my love for books and my trusty laptop, a companion I hope to never lose. And maybe in time I'll be able to invest in an external harddrive.... just in case. My first laptop I had for only a month, and it just sort of died one day. For no reason. Even Geek Squad said it was for no reason. So thus this wonderful beauty [same model, but now she has a 2-year warrantly].

Gamestop... I never thought i'd ever work there. But I have been for three months already. Wow, time does fly by so fast when you're not really paying attention. I'm really excited about my job. I love it there, and I love the people I work with. I admit to not knowing much about the gaming industry, but it's a new challenge. I need to motivate myself to do some research from time to time though. Subscribe to free weekly newsletters to various gaming websites. How will I ever get promoted if I don't know what the hell I'm selling, right?

Ah. Life is pretty great so far. All I need to do is look on with positive thoughts in my head and I'm all set and ready to move with and take what challenges life has in store for me.