So Little Time

There are so many things I want to accomplish in life. I am only 18 [going on 19 next month], but I feel like there is so little time to do any of it. The older I get, the more I feel like I don't want to just settle down in my early twenties. Like I said, there's so much to do. Yet at the same time, time itself is flying by so fast, but at the same time it's still crawling along, excruciatingly expanding every dull moment.

When I'm not working or out with friends, I'm here at home being lazy as well. I have absolutely no motivation for myself. I don't know why. I mean, there's a library down the street I've been dying to go to for ages. Yet I'm too afraid to go by myself. Well, maybe afraid isn't the right word to use. But I wouldn't really use embarrassed either. Still, it's down the freakin' street.

So you see my dilemma? Here I am, wanting to do so many things before I die. And yet I can't bring myself to do it. Along with my lack of motivation is my lack of confidence. It's terrible, really. I don't know what to do about it. Usually I feel like I can find all the answers within myself. But I don't know about this one...

To Do List:
Perform in a play
Sing at a karaoke bar
Complete reading list
Finish writing my book

About my book, my writing process has really slowed down. The motivation for that is still there... it's the creativity I feel is beginning to fade. Writers' block, perhaps. I'm not sure. I have so many ideas on my "writers' prompt" page, but I still haven't actually spread them all out and really put them to work. So far, I have 18 pages. There's so much I want to write. But I'm just worried it's not going to turn out as I hoped.
One thing is for sure, I really want to finish this project. I'm always talking about how I have all these projects, yet I never finish them. This one though.... I'm beyond excited for.

Well, wish me luck.